Friday, November 20, 2009

Greg/Nicky update 11/20/09 (LONG, sorry!!!)

Today is Friday, and poor Nicky is still miserable from a DOUBLE corneal abrasion. Actually, I should re-phrase that and call it something else entirely, sorry. His eyes are OK. The insides of both his eyelids are not. I know, weird. When he was little he had a TON of problems with his eyes, a very small scratch would make his eye red and painful to light, so much so he wouldn't open his eyes for days. He would sit in his room under the blanket with the room all dark. Now, and for the past several years, when he finally opens his eyes (which is only a few hours later, albeit still painful to light), his eyes look perfect, not a red streak anywhere, while the eyelids look all puffy, red and purple, with matter oozing out. There is no question that during the night he rubs his eyes and voila'. Sigh. We keep this from happening by using soft (very soft!) mittens on his hands at night, but during the winter when the heater is on we have to use the humidifier as well, and I forgot to turn it on the other night. Sigh. I blame myself, although in the past, even with the humidifier and mittens are on, occasionally this still happened. I *hate* EB. I can't say that enough.

Anyway... he'll deal with this for another couple of days and then he'll get better for sure. So upsetting since he seemed to be doing so good lately.

OK, on to Greg. He fell a couple of times recently on the same hip, and at first it didn't hurt too bad, but 2 nights ago he rolled over on that hip and it started hurting so bad he didn't sleep at all last night and I had to give him Tylenol w/codeine to ease his pain. Like trying to recover from a stroke is not enough! We have an appt on Monday in the event the pain does not go away. There is no bruise and externally you can't see anything, but if the pain does not go away there is a possibility of a fracture, so we've got to be careful about that. He was making good progress but now it's too painful for him to do any of his exercises, so it's all a bit discouraging. He's still supposed to go back to work in 3 weeks? We'll see I guess.

I must admit, for me, this is a bit too much. Connor is still too young to be independent and needs me so much and I get frustrated not only because it's hard to see your family in pain and needing you so much, but also because it's all a bit too much for my brain to comprehend everything that needs to be done. I make lists and lists and lists and I always forget something. Always. I go halfway across the house and then I forget what I am supposed to get/do. I can't remember the last time I was able to watch any TV show without interruptions. I am thankful I am forced to go to 'lab' for my computer classes at the college so I can dedicate myself to my schoolwork because there is no way I could do that at home. On most days I think I am okay, I try to stay positive and who cares if there is a ton of laundry to do and dishes are piling up in the sink, but there are times like this morning when all I want to do is curl up and cry. I have to sit and watch family members who have healthy kids and healthy spouses get constant help, who have parents or siblings nearby, or extended family members able to come and help when there is no "real" need. I had a good cry watching 'Desperate Housewives' a few weeks ago, when Susan's daughter was in the hospital, everyone was bringing her food. I spent oodles of time in the hospital, and nobody brought me food. I lost 5lb in one week. I have no close friends or family here and that's just how it goes. My choice I suppose, or just how things worked out. Something we call life.

Oh well, thank you for listening me vent. I am okay, really, just know that if you come to visit, come to visit us, not the house, OKAY? LOL. Not that anyone ever comes to visit anyway.

On to more fun stuff. Tomorrow sometime I will upload my college class INDESIGN project (basically a 6 page brochure full of pictures) about Ivrea's Carnival, my hometown famous carnival which features the biggest food fight in the world, the Battle of the Oranges. It came our really cool, so I hope I get some feedback. :-)

Next week is Nicky's 13th birthday, as usual we'll celebrate it on Thanksgiving. My boy a teenager? Hard to believe. I am going back to work on December 7th, to the holiday rush no less! It's actually good, it will keep me busy and my mind off stuff. School is over on December 12th and then I won't go back until February. I am looking forward to that.

Silvia and the Gang