Tuesday, April 13, 2010

And that's the way it is...

You win some, and you lose some. In life, you can't make everyone love you or even care for you, no matter how hard you try. At some point, we must realize when the war is lost and stop fighting battles are never going to be won.

September 10, 2001 was a hard day for me. My mom was recovered at a hospital in Italy and she was not doing good. In the next few days we almost lost her. She started bleeding heavily in the middle of the night and she became unconscious. By the grace of God, a Nurse checked on her and found her in a pool of blood. The amazing Italian Doctors worked feavereshly to save her, they even got drugs from the US to get her better, she would stay in the hospital 2 months before going home. I was emotional to say the least about the whole thing. Of course I couldn't talk to her, she was unconcious and then couldn't speak at all for sometime and my dad and my sisters would fill me in all the details. I was so grateful. At the time, just after 9/11, TV stations had non-stop coverage of the tragedy in New York. People were crying and I was a basket case. I had just lost my job, but somehow, someway, I scraped together enough money to go to Italy to see her and let her know I loved her. That's what a daughter does. I was thankful she was alive, that's all it mattered. There was no selfish motive whatsoever.

Love, gratefulness. Some things in life should be easy, common sense. The rules are easy enough: if you appreciate someone, tell them. If someone does something for you, be grateful. If your life would be worse without them, let them know. If the life of a loved one is enhanced by someone else, be appreciative of that. Why is it so hard to say "thank you" nowadays? I am not talking about close family members, my husband, my kids, my sisters, my parents... in trying times they have been fantastic. When my son is so appreciative of a new toy that keeps kissing me and thanking me for a week-wow, it just makes me love him more, if that's even possible. When my husband tries so hard to do things he can hardly do just to lighten the load for me-that's love. When my sisters comments on a blog I wrote, telling me that she misses me so much her heart aches, that's all I need to know to understand her love for me. And, of course, my parents, my dear parents, who, at every phone call they tell me how amazed they are for all I do without any help, and how my dad stays up at night thinking about me and worrying about Nicky, I have to count my blessings. Is it any wonder Greg and I have decided to move to Italy when he retires? That's where my heart is, and he knows it. He told me, on our trip to Italy, how much love he felt eminating from my family. He wants that. Since losing his mom, he felt as he's somehow lost it. He has a lot of people that care for him, but since his stroke, he's found exactly to what degree each one cares. Let's just say that some have been vastly more caring than others.

In the past few years I've sent wedding gifts and baby gifts-I did not expect a thank you note and I didn't get one. The amount of Xmas cards I receive has dwindled to, maybe, 10. I send emails with information or photos that someone requested that never get answered. I spend hours writing blogs so family members would know what's going on, but some are too busy thinking they "know" what's going on and be mad about stuff that didn't happen, and if they only had *bothered* to read, they would know better.

That's just the way it is. I choose to be grateful to the people in my life who are there for me. They Rock! The others, if you care enough, the ball is now in YOUR court.


StorkNet said...

You are a beautiful soul Silvia and I know I'm richer for knowing you. Thank you for sharing and giving us all something to think about. Gratitude is such a lost art in our culture. You remind me every day of what it means.